Burning Cold
by justineshaw20089
Summary: Edward leaves Bella and she is left with Jacob. Can Bella ever learn to like Jacob? Will Edward ever come back? This is my first fanfic and I'm not good at summaries. Read & Reveiw please!


**Plot: Edward leaves Bella and she becomes depressed. Bella turns to Jacob for comfort and some sparks begin to fly. Jacob gets sick and decided not to call Bella back, and now he has a new girlfriend. Bella is alone once again, but will Edward come back to her?**

**- This is my first fanfic, so please give me some suggestions! Also, be nice please.**

It's been five months since I've seen his glorious face. The glorious face with no name – I don't want to feel the pain again. Every time that I think of his name the pain comes...and with it comes agony. I was so lost in my sea of despair that I was unaware of my surroundings. I looked around and realized I was driving home from school, on my way to the market I assume. I don't give much thought to things anymore like Charlie's dinner; he will be eating a frozen pizza tonight. If I dare to think about certain things, my mind will get carried away and think about things that _hurt_. The only thing I put any amount of effort into anymore is my homework…

I snapped back into reality long enough to realize that Charlie was eating his pizza across from me, eyeing me. Once again, my evening was just about over thanks to my sea of despair. I could burn the house down from cooking and not even know it.

Charlie cleared his throat after his third piece; I know he had three pieces because my piece was still in front of me, untouched. "The pizza was good." he said, obviously trying to make the small talk that he continuously failed at doing. "Thanks", was all that I was able to say. Before I knew it I was in my bed and drifting into my restless sleep.

Days, maybe even weeks later passed before anything worth…_anything_ came up.  
"Now Bella, I want you to go spend some time with your friends. All you do is sit around here and mope about things that...are not even here anymore." Charlie declared. "Jessica is at the movies with Mike," I lied, "and Angela is studying for her Algebra test." I lied again. "Well how about spending some time with Jacob Black? You know he would love the comp-" he began again but I cut him off. "Yeah, okay dad." and I walked away and went to my room. I sat on my bed and just stared, contemplating. This is the third time Charlie brought something like this up to me, last time he threatened to send me back to Renee. I finally decided it was better to call...Jacob and get this over with so that I could get Charlie off my back. My dad already wrote the number down on my side table, "just in case" I decided I wanted to do something. I dialed the number and waited, I was about to hang up when the phone connected.

"Hello?" spoke a carefree voice that I assumed was Jacob's, I suddenly envied him. "Jacob? This is Bella Swan," I tried to give as little emotion as possible. "BELLA! Hey how are you? What's up?" he seemed to shout, I couldn't help but feel a little bit cheerful, he just seemed so _damn_ happy. "I'm fine! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at your place after school tomorrow or something." I asked hoping he would already have some plans. "That would be great! I can show you my garage, I am building my own car you know." He sounded kind of proud and I couldn't help but to feel proud for him. "Ah, that's great! I guess I will see you around...3:30?" The sooner we hung out the sooner it would be over with,  
"Awesome, see you then" he said right before he hung up.

The day seemed to drag on relentlessly, much to my dislike. By the time I began walking towards my truck I wanted to rip my hair out. Why did I call _Jacob Black_? He was so young that we would probably be playing with Tonka trucks in his garage! Suddenly I felt bad for thinking that…maybe it would be a remote control car. As I pulled into his driveway I instinctively looked into the rearview mirror. It didn't look at all like me, my face was sunken in and I had black circles under my eyes. I almost looked like a vampire. Suddenly the pain flared out and was consuming me. How _stupid_ of me to think that! It hurt so bad that it was as if it was getting back at me for holding it back for so long. I was laying in the fetal position in my truck when Jacob found me.

Jacob threw open the door to my truck and pulled me into his arms, "Bella..."was all he said. I wanted to get away from him, I barely knew him and he was holding me, but I was too consumed in my agony to even bother. Eventually, I was able to pull myself together and face him. He had this childlike innocence about him, it radiated from every pore in his body. I suddenly wondered what would be radiating from me right now, maybe nothing would radiate from me at all since I became this emotionless _blob_.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.  
"Yeah, I'm okay." I replied.  
He narrowed his eyes, "You sure?"  
"Yes. You said you wanted to show me your garage?" I tried to put on a fake smile, but I knew it was a feeble attempt. Jacob seemed to buy it because he threw me a wide grin and dragged me to his garage.

Jacob's garage had a cozy type of feel to it. It wasn't anything spectacular, it was just made of tin. Jacob's little projects were stored around it in miscellaneous places, not that I could identify any of them though. His latest project, his car, was right in the middle of the garage.

"Wow Jake, this is great." I was sincere.  
"Yeah, I'm missing a few parts though. Once I get them, it will be up and running in no time."  
"Well I hope it's soon, promise me you'll show me when it's completed." I said.  
"Fine fine, I promise I will show you".

We sat there talking about random things and I realized that I really liked Jacob. I felt like I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me. I really felt happy, not as happy as I would have been…but it was something. I felt _alive_. We stopped talking when Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, Bells. Billy called me up and invited me to dinner." I could definitely tell that Charlie was glad to see some life back in me. I suddenly felt bad for Charlie. Living with me probably hasn't been pleasant. Billy came onto the porch, "Hope you guys like pizza. I made it from scratch." Jacob laughed, "Dad, I don't think it's from scratch if you order it." We all laughed, even Billy felt the urge to do so.

The night passed by quickly. It was the first time in a long time that I really enjoyed myself. By the time I was in my bed, I realized that I was _wanting_ to see Jacob again. I didn't want to push my luck, the smallest mishap and I could go back to how I was.

Every day after school I went to go see Jacob, and I was feeling better each time I did it. There was still a hollow part in me that probably would never be filled but Jacob was filling in the parts around that. Jacob became my best friend, when I was around him I felt mended. We had so much fun together; we could even have fun doing nothing. Every once in a while I would slip and crumble but Jacob was always there to pick up the pieces. I felt as if I was beginning to feel something for Jacob, it would never be as strong as what it should be though because I would never feel that way again. I would never dream of telling Jacob I like him, I decided it must be an attachment thing that I have for him.

I pulled into Jacob's driveway and he ran out. I was pretty sure if someone decided to steal my truck; I would hear them because it is _so_ loud, I knew Jacob would know whenever I was pulling in. Today Jacob and I were taking a trip to La Push. We would just sit there and talk; we would just go there to have a change in scenery.

It was sprinkling today so we each had our rain jackets on. In the distance you could hear the waves lightly crashing ashore. I loved to listen to the waves crash down, it was relaxing. We were silent for a while as we took in the sounds around us. It was a comfortable silence we were having; I felt no need to talk.

"Bella…" Jacob began, "I really like you." The comfortable silence quickly mutated into an awkward silence as I gawked at him. "Jake," was all I was able to say before he cut in. "No Bella, listen. I feel comfortable around you, and I know you feel the exact same way. We fit perfectly." He laced his fingers together as if for me to visualize. This must be why he was so silent at first. I could never feel towards anyone again, never again!

"Jake, I can't…" I said apologetically.  
"Why Bella, tell me exactly why."  
"It's too much...never again…" I began to trail off.  
"Forget _him_ Bella! He isn't here, I am!" he said angrily. It hurt.  
"How can you expect me to do that Jacob? You do not understand!"

We stood there glaring at each other. Why would he hurt me like that? He knew exactly how much it hurt me to think about _Edward_. Silent tears began to stream down my face but I wiped them away quickly. Suddenly, out of nowhere Jacob grabs me and pushes his lips to mine. I fought against his kiss, with no prevail. Suddenly I gave up and began to kiss him back. My head was spinning as everything moved so quickly. The kisses were at first aggressive but soon turned to be very passionate. When we were done we just looked at each other and smiled. What at first seemed impossible was proven possible within a matter of minutes. I did _like_ Jacob, not as much as he deserves, definitely not as much as I still _love _Edward but it was definitely something.

From then on out Jacob and I spent every possible moment together. I clung to him, afraid that I would forget how to feel again. Charlie and Billy was clearly happy about our "little thing" they decided to call it. It gave them even more excuses to get together to watch the game or eat dinner. Time passed without incident for a long time, everything was going perfect.

Jacob went home early last night because he wasn't feeling good; it felt like he was on _fire_! I hope his fever goes away, he looked awful. I tried calling him today but Billy said he wasn't feeling well enough to talk. I've been on loose ends all evening, I swear but I think I can feel some of the emptiness creeping back in.

It's been a week and I have not heard from Jacob at all. You think he would have sense enough to at least call me and tell me what is wrong. I mean I've called him plenty of times but eventually no one answered at all. I decided that I am going to see Jacob after school today.

As I walked to my truck a familiar feeling crept towards me…I'm nervous. I haven't been nervous around Jacob in a while. On the drive over, I rehearsed what I was going to say in my head. Mainly, I planned on yelling at him for not talking to me. I pulled into Jacob's driveway and I stopped suddenly. No Jacob running out to greet poor old Bella today.

I got out of my truck and started banging on their front door, "JAKE!" I screamed. After a while I decided that I would wait for him in my truck, and then I would attack him. God knows how long I waited out there for, enough time for the sky to change colors apparently.

Before much long I was able to see headlights pulling into Jacob's driveway. I looked through my side view mirror to see Jacob and some stranger getting out of the car. I didn't know who the person wa-…a girl! Her skin was the same color as Jacobs, it was beautiful. Her hair was long, bronze and curly…it was so beautiful…she was _so_ beautiful! Suddenly rage took over and I honked the horn furiously. I was able to see them jump and acknowledge my truck…the truck they did not see before. It looked like the two of them were talking to each other, and the girl got in the car and drove away. Well, it must have been her car then...that means Jacob didn't fin-"

"Bella." Came a voice close enough for me to jump, the voice was unfamiliar but it came from a face I…thought I knew. Jacob looked different! He must have grown several feet or something since the last time I saw him. He looked alien to me. I could feel the tears start to well up as I struggled to keep myself calm. He reached out and touched my hand but I drew it away sharply, it was burning hot! "_Do not touch me_." I said through my teeth. That's when the tears started to fall. I can't be here…it's just too much. I started my truck to leave and he spoke again, "_Bella_, you can't drive like this!" Oh he had nerve! "Well it sucks to know that you're the one who caused it, huh?" was all I could yell at him before I drove away leaving him behind.

It was hard for me to find my way home through all the tears. It was harder to walk through the door and face Charlie before I could go to my room. Luckily, he was terrified of tears. I lay in my bed crying for a long time. It hurt _so_ badly! How could Jacob do this to me? Eventually, through all of the crying and pain I was able to fall into sleep.

I woke to someone scratching on my window, "What the hell?" I said when I realized who it was. "What are you doing here _Jacob Black_? And why are you coming through my window?" I said through my teeth. "I'm coming here to apologize, and explain." Jacob said. "What makes you think I want to hear what you have to say?" I said pointing at him. "Believe me _Bella_, I think you do." Was my reply.

Jacob explained the whole situation to me; I didn't look at him once just in case I started to cry. He was a werewolf, I had to guess that much seeing as he couldn't tell me, and he imprinted. He told me it was rare for a werewolf to imprint on someone but once they did there was no going back. He compared it to how Ed-Edward and I were, except he called him a _bloodsucker_. He told me he was sorry, and he never meant to do this to me. He told me he wished he weren't a werewolf, and then we could still be together.

When he reached out to touch me, I had no reaction. I didn't even talk to him when he started begging for me to. I had nothing left; I was just an empty shell. I clung to him _so_ hard for _so_ long, afraid to forget how to feel and he seemed to pry me off. There was nothing to say at all. I turned to look at him; the emptiness in my eyes must have terrified him because he started shaking. I didn't even react; I just stared blankly at him. Eventually Jacob left; he said he would call me soon. When he left I lay in bed, number than ever.

Jacob did call but I never answered, Charlie did. Charlie gave him the excuses that I wasn't here or I was busy. The emptiness crept back in and took over what belonged to it. I don't know why I thought I could escape the pain of my angel leaving me. Jacob could never truly replace him. There was just…nothing left for me.

Weeks must have passed, I'm not entirely sure whether it did or not…

I looked around and realized I was driving home from school, on my way to the market I assume. I don't give much thought to things anymore, it hurts. I cooked spaghetti for Dinner, Charlie would like that. As we ate, he stared at me taking in my familiar appearance. I only stared at my plate. Before long, I was back in my room sitting on my bed. Time passes quickly for me again. Jacob still calls, but he's the least of my concerns. I'm stuck with a different kind of emptiness, an emptiness I was trying to avoid. I lay in my bed until another restless sleep took me over.

_**EPOV:**_

I had to come back. I had to see how she was. If she was happy, I told myself I would gladly leave again. If she was miserable, I told myself I would leave again.

I flew by the "_Welcome to Forks_" sign without even looking at it. I haven't seen Bella in eight months, it has been too much, completely unbearable. I haven't fed in well over two months, I knew it was a mistake to see her like this but I just had to see her. Finally, I could see the little house. My beacon of reason.

I slowed to a walk as I got nearer her window. When I reached it I was overwhelmed to see her sleeping. Then I realized that everything about her was wrong. She had dark circles under her eyes, and she even looked thinner. She was pale white, comparable to me. Fury seized me, she looked like a vampire. The only thing keeping me sane was her heartbeat. She was beyond miserable; there were no words to describe her. She couldn't even have a peaceful sleep it looks like. I can't leave her again, not when she's like this.

I opened her window as quietly as was possible and climbed in.

_**BPOV:**_

I was having another restless sleep. My dreams were dark. No images clouded my mind, only emotions. I was cold, really cold. I woke up with a start; the cold hand was touching my cheek. It was him, my angel he was back. He came back for me, he was here. "EDWARD!" I whispered. "Bella, love I was wrong to leave you" he pulled me into a hug. I missed his sweet scent, emotion flooded me when I realized he was really here for me and I began to cry. "Bella…" pain flooded his face and he raised my face to his and gave me a light kiss. Joy, oh he is back! "I was so alone Edward, I missed you so much." I began but he cut me off. "I will never forgive myself for leaving you my Bella." He kissed my forehead before continuing, "I am never going to leave you again, I owe you a lifetime of happiness." I felt as if my heart would burst, and all I could do was hug him! "Bella, I love you." He smiled at me and kissed me again. I forgot how I reacted to that; I forgot what I needed to tell him…it was important. "I love you too Edward!"

Weeks have passed by without incident. I am complete once again, reason has returned to everything. The Cullen's are back for good. I missed them so much, even Rosalie! As soon as Alice saw me she narrowed her eyes, I could expect some sort of makeover soon, but I didn't care…I missed Alice _so_ much! Charlie doesn't understand why I forgave Edward so easily; it's hard to explain to him. Edward is my reason for everything; he is the reason for me to open my eyes every day and the reason to look forward to waking up when I close them every night. The Cullen's are all enrolled in school again, with Emmet, Jasper and Rosalie weeks away from graduating. Jacob had had Charlie give me a letter he wrote me.

"Bella,  
I know you won't answer my calls, but I want to talk to you. Charlie said _he_ is back again. I know you deserve better than me Bella but you can do _SO_ much better than a bloodsucker. Call me soon okay?  
-Jake"

I am so completely happy right now; I may just give him a call. Not today, but eventually. I can't even blame Jacob anymore for imprinting on someone else, it was beyond his control. That girl is to Jacob what Edward is to me. I would never leave Edward; he even said he'd stay with me until the end of time! Oh how perfect! But…I don't know how long I could live. I could die any day! Then…there wouldn't be an end of time with Edward, there will only be an until I die. The only way for Edward and I to be together forever is for me to be a vampire. I'm willing to make the sacrifice to become one, to endure the pain. I lived without him once, I can't let it happen again.


End file.
